Insights

We call any situation difficult if it causes anxiety, stress, a state of hopelessness or forces you to make hard choices. The reason for this situation can be both internal processes and changes in environmental conditions.

Mechanism of stress

Stress is a reaction to external or internal environment changes, an indicator light that tells us something is going wrong. And here, it is essential to see the root of stress: this is our assessment and attitude to new input data.

If you immediately accept a new fact, such as being fired, for granted, then you may not experience stress at all. But suppose you start to dramatize, question my professional competence, get offended, replay the most unpleasant moments in your memory or get angry at yourself and others. In that case, that's it, you fell into the trap of stress. And it has several stages: anxiety, denial and resistance, then exit to effective mobilization through acceptance or distress through exhaustion and apathy.

And the longer you stay in stages 1 and 2, the longer you could lose energy and time.

The conclusion is simple: the responsibility for stress lies entirely with you (and every other individual) and not with environmental factors. Small, stressful situations are helpful for a person as they increase adaptability and stimulate development. But if you don't consciously work with yourself at these moments, then situational stress can go into a chronic phase, which is the most common cause of psychosomatic disorders [[source?]].

Awareness and acceptance

It is crucial to monitor your reactions; this is a beneficial skill in everyday life. It is related to the quality of attention. It's about fixing the first manifestations of anxiety and switching from feeling to understanding and analyzing the cause. What is the reason for this condition? How can I influence the fact that causes stress? If I can, then I need to act.

For example, an unpleasant person sat down at the following table. You do not get annoyed but calmly change a table or cafe. What if nothing can change the situation? For example, the cancellation of an important business meeting for you or introducing a mandatory self-isolation regimen? At this stage, the main thing is not to get involved in resistance and struggle but to continue an impartial consideration.

First, focus on the fact. It has already happened, and you cannot rewind the events to change the scenario.

Second, realize that right at this point, you have a choice—at least two options. You can give in to emotions and begin to live the past event, which will not change anything; or you could decide not to waste mental energy and accept the new fact as a given.

Third, reduce the severity of the problem. A playful approach helps here; for example, think of it as a new game. Try to look at this situation as the starting point of an exciting journey where exciting discoveries await you.

The world is changing very fast now, and there will be more and more stressors. But whether they cause us suffering or become a stage of personal growth depends on our choice. In The Art of War, Sun Tzu says that war is won if it has not begun [[link?]]. This is excellent stress management advice, as well.

Focus management

When it is possible not to get involved in resistance and struggle, you can move on to the third stage: effective mobilization. You have already accepted the fact, and now you need to help yourself adapt to the new reality. Ask questions again.

• How can I use the situation to my advantage?

• How can I take advantage of what happened?

• What can I do, change, so that what happened becomes an incentive and motivator for my development?

• What qualities can I develop?

It is an important point: you shift the focus of attention from the past to the future and begin to create it yourself. Get inspired by new goals. See the difference? There is no evil without good, and these questions can help you see it.

Bodywork

This stress management technique is easy enough to understand but not always easy to execute. It can help to go through all the stages and not get stuck while working with the body.

Anxiety and stress trigger robust biochemical processes in the body, and the hormonal background changes significantly. You can hit a punching bag, run a marathon distance or shout in the forest to let off steam.

The second step is to engage attention. You can choose the direction of the body and mind: yoga, Pilates, acro yoga, stretching, focusing on your feelings or a combination of these. In this sense, any team sports are good, where interaction with other players comes to the fore. Any dance is very powerfully uplifting. The rhythm of movement can help to remove any tension in the body and mind. The main thing is to move.

New sources of power

The attitude toward what happens to you and your life can determine the subjective quality of life. Although you may not realize it, we as humans constantly check how happy and satisfied we are with our lives.

In his book The Consumer Society, Jean Baudrillard notes that we are becoming increasingly dependent on external incentives. Of course, from the point of view of sociology, this is a natural process. But it is important to understand how much our assessment of the quality of life depends on how much we earn, how much we can spend, where we go on vacation, what phone we use and what brand of clothes we buy.

Since 2020, the familiar world has changed a lot; we found ourselves in isolation, and external life has slowed down and lost its former significance. We began to turn to our inner world more, to notice what we had previously ignored because of our focus on social life.